Have you thought about writing it out for him to read? I am also a survivor and have had my T read a few things that were too scary to talk about. You could also tell your T that you have something to share but you are not quite ready. Would drawing a picture feel too hard(I sometimes do this but it can be a challenge). I used to call myself a "freak" until my T told me to remember the limitless girl within me who was hurt. I think you can work through this but it will take time, patience, and courage. Thank you for having the courage to post. I am so sorry about what happened to you.