I'm only taking a third of my chemo dose now.

My hem/onc doesn't know.

I see him tomorrow and I'm not sure if he'll be able to tell. (other than my counts might be wacky and my spleen enlarged)

I don't care.

I'm tired of taking this poison!

I just don't care anymore.

I refuse to take this stuff for the rest of my life.

I hate it. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of everything.