(((InfiniteSadness)))

I am in DBT as well, and have been struggling with self-hate for as long as I can remember. Most of my self-hate stems from very early-childhood through teenage years ~ a lot of shame that is undeserved (I really don't need to apologize to anyone other than myself for my youth) and requires simple acceptance. Easier said than done to "accept"!

It's a work in progress. DBT is helping me to see that I do partake in good things pretty regularly. I am working on improving my relationships with my daughters ~ and I am really starting to see the progress we've made there. That's good too. I have to remind myself often, by looking at my Diary Card and updating the mindfulness that has taken place.

My T once put it as though my habit of looking at the negative side of my life (and me) is strongly ingrained in my brain. It's going to take time and effort to make new, healthier pathways for my thoughts to follow. Kind of makes sense when I look at it that way.

Are you working with a T? If so, have you two discussed this intense self-hate and questioned him/her for ideas on how to get past these horrible emotions?

Gentle hugs to you.