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T's and Drs think it will help to have someone "check in" with and hold you accountable but they don't understand how that can become part of the mental game we play. I know when I was letting my dr do weigh-ins I became obsessed with not gaining and would plan it out to the exact clothes I would wear when I would go in- I knew logically that it was defeating the point of going in and I just had to put the brakes on it.
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EXACTLY! I'm so glad you were able to talk to them about it. I'm going to try to talk to my T the next time I see her.
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If your dr wants to monitor your weight to make sure you don't get too low, there is the option of being weighed blind. You step on the scale backwards and then have them not tell you what your weight is. This is how all of my drs are and my dietician. My dietician is who monitors my weight and I see her every 2 weeks. All of my drs know that I am anorexic and know that my knowing how much I weigh is a huge trigger for me. Eventhough I really, really want to know how much I weigh right now, I have to stand firm and not listen to ED telling me to find out. It is really hard, but if your dr is understanding they will not tell you your weight, you just have to ask them not too.
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Thanks so much for your reply! I used to get blind weight-checks, but I actually weigh myself at home (I know, BAD idea). So I know how much I Weigh, and I get super upset when I gain, but somehow to me, it's worse when my treatment providers also know that I've gained. I know that's what they want for me, but I feel like they're judging me
