Self-talk usually helps me a lot.

For example, if I have to go grocery shopping and I am having major anxiety about it, I will have this little conversation with myself in my head about how nothing bad has ever happened to me in a grocery store, I will make a plan in my head about what to do just in case this time something bad does happen in the store, I will make a plan in my head about what I need to buy and what order I am going to get the items, and continually remind myself about all the other times I have gone shopping or gone anywhere and nothing bad happened.

Sometimes during my self-talk I will think of something bad that did happen in my life (not a major trauma, just a bad thing like having my pants rip at school) and I will remind myself of how I successfully dealt with that bad thing, and I will remind myself that even though something bad happened then it was not the end of the world and I managed to handle it just fine, and then I tell myself that if something bad does happen in the grocery store that I will be able to handle it just like I handled the time my pants ripped in school.

It's just a lot of positive self-talk. Positive reinforcement, making a disaster plan in my head for what to do if anything bad does happen, reminding myself that the odds of something bad happening are low, reminding myself that I have meds in my pocket that I can take for a panic attack if necessary, etc...

That has always worked better for me that meditation, breathing, or any other technique a therapist taught me.

For relaxation time on a daily basis, I set aside an hour each day and I lay on the couch with my eyes closed and I listen to a favorite TV show, usually one of the Judge shows or a soap opera. I focus 100% of my attention on listening to the TV, and because my eyes are closed I also focus on forming a visual picture in my mind of what is happening on TV.

It takes a lot of concentration to form the image in my mind to match the sounds from the TV, and so by having to concentrate to make that image my brain is less able to wander to anxious worrying. The combination of keeping my mind from thinking anxious thoughts and laying on the couch causes my muscles to untense and relax.

My final means of relaxing is to again lay on the couch with my eyes closed and the TV on, and I lay there and visualize/build my perfect dream house in my head (or sometimes I rebuild/redecorate my childhood home or the home of a friend or family member).

I start with the layout of rooms and the general look of the structure, and then once I have all the rooms where I want them I go through each room and arrange furniture and decorate it paying attention to even the littlest detail such as where the electrical outlets would be placed and the exact look and feel of the fabrics for the furniture.

If I still want/need to continue to relax even after my "house in my head" has been completely built and furnished, then I either move on and think of a different house or other building (such as rebuilding and redecorating my doctors office) or I continue to think of my dream house by redecorating the rooms, or I think of a friend or family member and build what I think would be their dream house in my head.

I hope at least one of my relaxation methods help you.

Liz