How is it your family's responsibility to keep you from "freaking out"? They really don't have that power, nor does your T.

I spent years and years trying to keep things a certain way in my house so that nothing would "trigger" my husband. It was crazy making for me to even think I had that kind of ability. You family can't prevent your anxiety or your triggers; neither can your T. The only person who has any real power to "deal" with your anxiety and triggers and symptoms is YOU. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but you are trying to make everyone around you responsible for your well-being, and they don't have that power or ability without completely wearing themselves out (and even then, it really won't work.)

You DO have ways to cope in a healthy way when your anxiety builds. Go swimming or for a brisk walk to physically work through some of those symptoms. Learn some meditation or mindfulness techniques if those might be of help to you. You can find mindfulness exercises and CD's/recordings online for free. You can do this, but right now you are planning to "freak out" every day and to "snap and attack back." How about planning to swim or walk or journal or meditate or draw or whatever that doesn't involve violence, destruction, or SI? YOU can come up with options IF YOU choose to use them.