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wanttoheal said:Understand so much of what you are saying. I'm sorry for not replying earlier. I was not in a place to read, let alone respond on posts here.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> oh sweetie you only need to keep taking care of you and yours......fully understand the inability to read and respond here. that is the case most of the time now for us. due to our therapeutic work and other factors this forum isn't necessarily the best place for our work. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I so understand the effects of change, good and bad. This body, this mind struggles with change of any kind, big or little, good or bad.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> change is life, life is change. the only constant in life is change? yeah yeah trite but true. so hard to accept that the river keeps moving and changing all the time and instead of wistfully wishing the river were as it used to be. somehow we need to accept the ever changing river as it is now.......in this moment.</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It sounds like where you live, although out in the boondocks, might be a peaceful place with the animals to bring you comfort. I'm so glad for that. It's so hard when Ts are gone and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of life's battles.

I wish you peace and safety _zh, as you continue on your journey to healing. Thank you for sharing with us. You are much appreciated.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> it is peaceful out here. if chosen it would be dreamy. as necessity it is very managable but difficult. the horses are amazing creatures. the more time spent with them the calmer some inside seem to be. growing up riding might have something to do with that.

so much attached to what is going on with therapy now. the costs, both financially and emotionally, are becoming too much. the need to back off for many reasons keeps coming up. have taken breaks, not by choice, but by life circumstances, so time away has happened this year........moreso than wished but such is life.

however we're not so brazen as to think this path possible at this time w/o therapeutic assistance. we'll have to figure out what will work for the finances and for the well-being of this system.

at least when we are able to read here we can see the positive changes in those actively engaged in their work with professionals. it can be encouraging to read of others able to recognize that they cannot fix themselves or think their way out of it. it helps to know others take their lives seriously enough to get the help they need, deserve and want.

wishing that help was available now but we'll get back to a point where it will be available. before the year is out. sigh.

thank you for the kind words wantto. may your journeys continue to unveil more of you to you and may you all revel in the splendor and beauty that you all are.