Hi Lecrea,

I'm a 23 year old male and I feel very similar things. I haven't been diagnosed yet, I will be on Monday (not looking forward to it), but I have been depressed for most of my life. I remember being a child in class and my teacher asking the class "Is (name) dead today or something? because I was always so lifeless. I have all your symptoms except losing hair, and I am sorry for you. I too feel very lost. No way out.

I think about death and possibilities of suicide every day, but for now I am not going to commit suicide. I don't believe in God, though, I don't believe in anything at all. Nothing is real to me. But yes, I am just stuck, I cannot get out, trapped. I hate everything, I am a hater, I see no hope, no future, no nothing. No reason for living, I am just a zombie carrying out routine tasks just to keep my body alive but my mind/spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it has been dead for years.