ah to be in need of something........but what?

hugs, no thanks

people who live and breathe the challenges of DID? yeah, that might help. people focused on the aspects of everyday life and rent, car insurance, registration,meetings with: agents, doctors, therapists, employees of Soc. Sec., househunting, real estate ridiculousness, car repairs, breaking down in the middle of nowhere w/o cell phone not that it would matter as there is no reception out here, etc. on and on and on

but often what we want and what is available are not the same and we must choose what will serve us best. long absences have served us best with regards to here.

we miss KA and RhysMadison and others who aren't around for whatever reasons. we fully respect whatever reasons they have for not being here. doesn't change how much we miss them or how much we learned from their sharing of their experiences.

wistful. no time for wistfulness. only time for taking care of immediate details. materials for frames, glazing if available, ways to extend colours that are decreasing in volume and not replaceable, submit pieces that go together? or pieces that reflect what is wanted to convey to the masses?

at least the feeling of brain snoglobe is less today. wonder if it will start up again with therapy?

wonder how we're going to manage upcoming family travels? looking forward to the wonders that are in our destination city but not to the actual travel and time together with family.

feel like a tick for feeling such inability to be around family w/o difficulty but it is what it is. can't make it otherwise. can't suck it up and pretend things are okay when they're so not.

can't fake what is real, what is happening, what IS.

after a life of faking our way it can be a sharp wake up call to learn that there isn't any more faking involved on this path.

thank goodness for healing. thank goodness for progress. thank goodness for hope. thank goodness for the ability to seek help, actively utilize that help, and know that much more help is needed before our healing approaches anywhere near done.

petty snarky words from those we know just motivate us more in the healing vein. being stuck was so painful. our sympathies to those currently mired in their own doings. our wishes for their freedom from their own trap. our wishes for their hearts to open and minds to follow. in time even insincere apologies might take on the flavour of sincerity. time heals much. time helps much.

time goes on. different? sure. always different in some distinct way. yet the continuation remains. ....