OH, MUE, MUE, MUE. If I decide to blame myself fully, and I have and I do, as I did in my post of self-hatred, it is my decision. If I decide to fully blame my T, and I have, it is also my decision. I failed to allow any facts to enter my post as to who is to blame or who is or isn't taking ownership, it was more of an emotional post. I go through these emotions, and I post them. I've posted similar before, I will probably do it again.

I KNOW that in relationships that both parties bear some weight of a rupture. I understand this fully, but I don't always FEEL it, and feelings are often irrational. I cannot or will not be dissuaded from how I think/feel on the basis of one post. GTGT knows more information on me, she knows that I hold alot of self-hatred, and she was trying to counter this, not to blame my xT as she doesn't know him. She knows my struggles though, and I appreciate her comment. You, MUE, have also been very helpful to me with your replies.

I hope that people who post here aren't able to be so easily 'encouraged' to change their mind. Whatever they chose to believe about their relationship is totally up to them. Who am I to say? Speaking for me, I think how I think and I feel how I feel, and I listen to what others say but in the end I decide using all of the input I've graciously been given. Just my thoughts. Peace to everyone