You need to see a therapist. Meds can help symptoms but it will NOT change the behaviors causing the unstable relationships (ect). Instead of trying meds, focus on finding a therapist who will help you find root triggets and eventually overcome insecurities.

You basically have to work on reprogramming how you react to situations. It has been over a year since I last broke up with my long time boyfriend. Few months since I have last self harmed. I still have unstable relationships (i avoid people) and sabotage myself. I had extreme codependency issues with my bf/parents. I dont have an explosive temper anymore. I havent been violent in a while. I dont feel constantly alone. I had to examine my behavior to understand why I did things. I had to have a bf tell me the same thing over and over for 4 years before anything struck a cord. It is often hard and painful to look at ourselves and identify causes to problems. Thats why a therapist helps out!

You are not alone, either. Your son is there.