well as many of you may know, i am 19 years old. here in UK you can legally drive a car at the age of 17 (not sure what the age limit is in the US) well i started to learn to drive then and absolutelt hated it. i used to dread every single lesson and my instructors werent nice people either. i began to improve alot but suffered from bad nerves...id be ok until someone else on the road would do something stupid because i was a learner and then i would get really panicky and have to stop and calm down.

well i was with one driving instructor and she was confident in me and told me to book my driving test, so knowing she had faith in me i did. 3 weeks before my exam she told me she was leaving, and that was our last lesson. so for 3 weeks leading up to my exam i had no instructor and couldnt manage to book anyone else because they werent interested in taking someone on for such a short period.

i eventually managed to get someone but for just 2 hours on the same day of my exam. so for 3 weeks i hadnt sat behind a wheel, and the only practice i had was 2 hours ont he day of the test.

its pretty predictable the fact that i failed, badly.

i stopped learning then and lost any enthusiasm i had. that was nearly 2 years ago. well i still dont drive and i just cant bring myself round to booking lessons again. my theory test runs out in february 2007 as it only lasts 2 years, so i need to do it soon really. i do need to drive but i really dont want to.

something about driving frightens me. but i dont know what it is. nobody in my life understands why i feel this way and i am being pressured into learning again. i want to pass and be more independent, and i look forward to being able to get in my car and go for a drive, and be able to get out of the house and go for a drive when im upset. but i just dont want to learn. i have decided to go for an intense course which is 5 days of learning, each day driving for 5 hours with a test at the end of the week.

i know its not a huge problem compared to most things in life, and i would class myself as pretty strong, but i just cant bring myself round to booking these tests, and they cost £400 (english punds) which is about 800-900 dollars i think. it seems alot of money to spend on something i am sure i will fail. how can i be confident when feeling this way.

i do need to drive because i want a new job and in order to get a new job i need to be able to be more mobile.

anyone got any helpful advice? like i said, i know its not the worlds biggest problem, but i need to conquer it once and for all and get it over and done with!

speak soon

simon