Were you "allowing" her to diffuse the situation, or were you arguing for the sake of arguing? We weren't there, so we really can't answer that for you. I suspect, as with most things like this, both of you bear some responsibility. Perhaps what you need to work on is how to back down and allow yourself to really "hear" a different perspective. Perhaps what your T needs to work on is getting you to see when you are getting into argumentative mode so you can learn the skills needed to truly "listen". Doesn't sound like talking to your friends or not is your biggest issue maybe, as you might just slip into argumentation mode with them too which would block communication with them also. Just a thought to consider.