so apparently, you hav some idea about how you are going to communicate with me while you are out. "i have some ideas..." then gleefully: "it will be fun!" that really scares me. i hate surprises. even tho you said it was going to be a good surprise.

its all so messed up. you are there but you aren't. you do things that a friend would do, but then we aren't allowed to be friends. you care but sometimes it seems like you dont. you do things like this that i am so thankful for, but then, i feel like when it comes to the real therapy work, you really aren't there. i dont know... sigh. you would say, "so is the process of therapy." but i hav a hard time believing that is the case for everyone.