Open Eyes: I just wanted to point out that this passage really resonates with me. I have an older brother as well who had behavorial and developmental challenges; first they were diagnosised as ADHD and only recently did it get properly (if I can say so myself) diagnosised as Aspbergers. Some of the doctors he saw as a child (before my conscious memory actually but my mother has told me) advised my mother to lock him in a room (or hold him down) and not let him out no matter what when he was acting up, to take away all his toys, same concept of voiding their lives of love and attention, which is exactly what everyone needs, especially those of us who face extra struggles. This was happening in the early-mid 90s too, so old habits in psychology die hard, it seems. You still hear stories of teachers abusing asd children. I can't think of anything that makes me blood boil so much.

But to get back to the topic at hand, I would chose intelligence and depression, over not questioning anything and being superficially happy. For me, one of the modes of happiness is understanding the world and feeling deeply. There would be no true joy in my life without it. I feel like I've lost some of my intelligence to mental illness, which is devasting. I don't want to get rid of the illness, nearly as much as I want to be able to think the way I once did.