Quote:
Originally Posted by CgRgSm
Hi Lecrea,
I'm a 23 year old male and I feel very similar things. I haven't been diagnosed yet, I will be on Monday (not looking forward to it), but I have been depressed for most of my life. I remember being a child in class and my teacher asking the class "Is (name) dead today or something? because I was always so lifeless. I have all your symptoms except losing hair, and I am sorry for you. I too feel very lost. No way out.
I think about death and possibilities of suicide every day, but for now I am not going to commit suicide. I don't believe in God, though, I don't believe in anything at all. Nothing is real to me. But yes, I am just stuck, I cannot get out, trapped. I hate everything, I am a hater, I see no hope, no future, no nothing. No reason for living, I am just a zombie carrying out routine tasks just to keep my body alive but my mind/spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it has been dead for years.
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Sounds similar to my history. I am 22 and lost probably 15 years of my life. I also think sometimes about death, but the strange thing is that when I was younger I had often panic attacks of dying and needed to occupy my mind with something different before I could go back to sleep. Nowadays I have just sometimes the inner unrest when I think about death. Knowing that this is the ultimate end and nobody will remember you, because of being a loser. Maybe it can be beneficial if I would be a religious person, but I have problems believing in all this. Oh not to mention when I have the desire to be dead, I always think about the possibility of an accident, because I know myself and I could never commit suicide. That is just one positive trait or maybe it is my flaw.
I started a blog to overcome my depressions and to track my progress, but since yesterday I experienced a downfall again
