Quote:
Originally Posted by autotelica
My therapist doesn't do well with the "how to handle the feelings" thing. I will tell her about, say, how bad I feel after I do something embarrassing, and she will often say something cute like, "Why do you care what people think?" or "Chances are no one saw you, so don't dwell on it."
Those responses are never helpful. Often it feels like she dismisses my feelings just because she doesn't know what else to say.
But then I think about what I want her to say, and I'm at a loss. Do I just want her to say "Poor you" and pat my hand tenderly? I guess so, but that's not really helpful either. And that would get on my nerves after awhile.
So for me, I just try to shelve it. Maybe the issue will resolve itself as I mature, or maybe we can return to it at a later date, when she has
something better to say. I think this is the trade-off of having a therapist who is so pragmatic and into problem-solving. Feelings kind of take the backseat to actions. I generally like this approach, but sometimes I don't.
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I wonder if our therapists went to school together or something. I go through this same thing with mine. He will at least tell me he understands how I could feel such a way and that it makes sense that I would have those feelings, but then he's right into "just the facts ma'am" mode.
Recently I argued with him that my feelings were the facts and we went in circles on that for a long time.
It took me awhile to accept that he wasn't interested in me venting for long periods of time and that he's all about accept it and move on to fix it.