Thanks for the responses.

The problem is that I cant even say that he's wrong. If he thinks Im not ready, then maybe Im not. I dont know what it is Im supposed to be ready for, so I dont know what exactly I need to be ready. I thought I had a handle on it, but i guess not. I've asked him what we're talking about, but he wont tell me exactly what is involved with whatever it is Im supposed to be ready for. He says thats the point - to be comfortable going into it without knowing what it is ahead of time. That's why I thought the whole 'leap of faith' thing was where I needed to be, but apparently not, so now I just have no idea what he's looking for from me. I just want to do whatever it is Im supposed to do so I can feel better already, but I cant because apparently Im not ready, but I cant get ready either because I dont know how Im supposed to get more ready than I already thought I was. How do you get more "ready" than being willing to do whatever someone says if there's the possibility of it helping?! I cant even imagine how to be more ready than that...It's just rediculously frustrating. It has to be that I said or did something wrong. Nothing else has changed.

and Farmergirl - yea, obviously i was making the ambivalence thing up - but it wasnt to please him. It was to try to gauge why he didnt think I was ready all of a sudden. I figured id say it, and see if he agreed with it. And it appears as though I nailed it, cause he did agree. I didnt want to just ask, because i didnt feel like debating my readiness, when it had already taken so much for me to tell him I was ready the first time.