Firstly, I want to apologise for not being around to support anyone lately but have been trying to sort myself out before being there for anyone else.
The meds seem to be kicking in and I am feeling so much better than I was two weeks ago.

T asked me the other day what would I like to work on and I told her I ddin't know because if I did I wouldn't have to go to therapy because I would know how to help myself.
She said she wanted to go deeper into things and find out why I am so hurt over my breakup.
She is encouraging me to start dating again as I have to stop giving my ex so much energy and focus my energy on someone or something else.
She wants to go deeper into my emotions towards her and why I love her so much when she treated me so bad and lied about everything.

I am afraid to go deeper as it might bring up all those emotions again of love for her and might make my depression worse.
I am not sure if this is what I need but I suppose I have to trust t.

T used the following analogy; She asked me what food I like best? I said chocolate. Well she said imagine ther doctor told you chocolate would kill you, would you still eat it? i said, no.
She said exactly, thinking about your ex is killing you and making you sic, so why do it?
She said when I start dating or eating other foods it won't be the same but it will help you get over the other.

This analogy really helped me see how I am hurting myself.