Okay marking this a triggering sorry avout before****

I guess I just saw my weight as acceptable by doctors it was in the normal range. I still have non doctors ask me often but I didn't really expect it. To be honest I feel very over weight and not at all happy with myself I guess that's why the doc surprised me too.
Me and food are not good friends at all. Between the anorexia that then turned into self induced starvation as self harm then to actually truly NOT having any food then binging when I did to now with feeling fat. I feel like I'm all over the place with my emotions with food and have no one I feel like I can talk about it with rather for not feeling safe and confortable to feeling like they won't understand. So no it's really not under control.
I was very closely hospitalized at 21 but I left before it could happen.