I think that there's so much going on here. Maybe it would help if she were to go see a doctor, a referral to see a specialist so they can find out why your daughter is behaving in this way. Then perhaps if they find something, steps can be made to help treat her, be it medication or therapy.

I do believe very much in tough love in the right situation, but if she does actually have a problem then it may be the wrong route to go. I hope you find a solution, support and help for you all. Hugs