so, I just did something I'm incredibly ashamed of. Let me give a little background first. I have self-harming urges quite often. Long story short, I'm being watched really closely by my Mom (I live with her) so I can't hurt myself. I've been stealing forks lately (from my own kitchen and plasticware from fast-food restaurants) so I can scratch my tummy with them.........last time I did it, I made it bleed but not badly. Anyway, I found another fork and just went into the bathroom and scratched myself with it. It felt so good!!! ............in a particular kinda way..........made me happy.......and excited, if you know what I mean.............it's almost like the more dangerous and taboo it is, the better it feels to me...........am I making sense? I know self-harm isn't good but it felt so wonderful to certain parts of my body..............what do I do? do I stop or keep going to get the same feelings????? I know I wanna do it more but I'm thinking the risk of permanently injuring my tummy is greater, so I guess I'll stop. Who'd have thought that hurting my tummy would give me that kinda feeling????????????