I have been down to my lowest low. I have tried to drink my way through it. I have tried to take as many benzo's as I can to numb myself, I have been physically ill... I have upset people. I think my closest friends and T didn't know what to do with me.
So we thought I'd go to hospital and get my meds sorted. Who would have thought I'd have to wait for days? In the mean time I'm climbing out of my hole. I've had a very decent weekend. I don't see the point in wasting time and space in a hospital bed.

So, I've stopped my meds (they didn't seem to keep me stable anyway) and just phoned my T that I wasn't going to go to hospital. Well, I left a message with the receptionist. I'm sure T won't be impressed about any part of this, but I have made up my mind.

I hope you won't judge me, but rather be able to support me. I'm sure things could get a bit rough - I'll still see my T weekly - but I need to try this. And I promise to be in touch with my T the moment things go pear-shaped. I'm also very sure they can organize an emergency hospital bed should it come to that, but I need to stop over-analysing and trusting