Now I've seen more of the story, I think tough love may be the way to go after all! I still think a doctor is a good idea, but I should imagine she will bury her head in the sand and not go. I also think that if she is spending her time talking to men then she's probably ok to look after herself as it's showing self-awareness. She may be pushing her luck with you, as you're doing all the cooking, cleaning etc.

Its fabulous of you and your hubby to be kind and support this lady in the way you have done. You've given her food & a roof, and even a job. That's way above the duty of any friend. I don't think there is any shame now of asking her to go her own way, esp as the situation is becoming harmful for your own family life. As much as its great to be kind (and I wish there were more people out there like you) there comes a time that you have to look after you and your loved ones.

Is there a way that you can give her notice? Say something like in '2 weeks, you have to leave'. And offer her help to find somewhere to live, be it private rental or back to a hostel? There are many things you can do to help her on her way, so you're still being kind, but by being firm you'll get what you need.

Best of luck with it all.. x