Dear scflxp..Wow! the stuff you described is so alike the situation I am going through..I had a terrible and horrific childhood too..I was used as a punching bag by kids at school and my self esteem was literally torn apart...Those days I had very strong emotions I nearly cried everyday..had a very vivid imagination, even talked a lot to myself making up imaginary friends...Nowadays though I feel like I have lost all feeling...There is no sense of happiness or joy in absolutely anything that I do...I have recently moved to an area where I had a gr8 time when I was 24...but 3 years later since I moved I feel nothing when I walk around that same place... I even look at my old home and then I expect maybe I will have some memories and feel some emotion...but I get nothing simply nothing out of it...I feel scared about this....I go to work and meet people I would've run miles away from If I was younger...but now I meet so many of them and I have talked to them for over a year and not once have I had any thought about them when I return back home...I am simply devoid of feelings...I also tried some low dose Xanax and when I have it the feelings do surge in me...but only till the effect of the medicine is within my body....hope I was able to give you some comfort be sure to share anything you have in mind...