i got my appt back. i feel like an idiot. i was in the mindset yesterday that i was bound and determined not to go this week because maybe i just needed to give myself a break and 45min isnt that much. that maybe i shouldnt be so dependent on T's support, but no one else can handle all this. it just winds me up and then spits me out on my own again. it just feels like too much. i want to go back to the intensive that i went to. it was like this safe little cocoon where everything was ok. even though it was hard work it was ok and understoodd how you were feeling and what you were going through. it was ok to dig deep and feel because they were right there with you and nobody was going anywhere. and i didnt have to worry about anybody else but me. and they worried too. bah humbug