My wife and I were much like the two of you. We were together for 8 years before we were married. After a certain amount of abstaining it becomes the norm and you don't want to break out from that. I would suggest once you're married and ready to be intimate you just try pleasuring each other by hand with the lights off under the covers. That way it's just touching. Hopefully that breaks the ice enough to lead to other sexual activities and an overall healthy sexual relationship as you 2 explore each others bodies. Most of all, each of you needs to be completely open about what each of you want sexually and what you are and are not comfortable doing for each other so there isn't any misunderstandings.