I am with Leed on this. You should get out of that situation before bad turns to worse and he does physically abuse you. Nothing that he does sounds supportive or loving whatsoever, not even the buying you stuff. I'm guessing he uses that against you too when he's in a rage, probably mentioning all the stuff he does for you ..."lazy.. blah blah blah" I'm sorry but you deserve far better than he is. I think that there's a combination of fear and dependency going on and that's keeping you from leaving but you need to. Trust me on this it's not going to get better. After 18 years he's doing this, why would he change now? you might even consider Yoda's post and call taht number or go to the site. Please at least do something. Your safety and security is all important here.