Frozen Heart-
Thanks for sharing that with me. It sounds like me. I need to see my therapist, the last time I saw him was last week and it was the last visit my insurance covers for the rest of this calendar year. At first I thought I would be okay, but these last few days I don't know if I can take it. I can see him if I have $80 per visit and that's just not financially easy right now. I think my therapist actually thinks I am doing better...if only he could have seen me these past few days.

I got mad this afternoon and just stood outside hitting everything in site with a broom.

Maybe part of this is that I can't see my therapist. I think he will forget about me or I feel as though after me seeing him for 4 years that he should care enough to help me work something out. Maybe he just doesn't get me.

I have to do something my husband is tired of these tantrums and watching me hurt myself and then threaten suicide. I tell him how much better off everyone would be without me.

I just feel lost right now...this anger stuff is stronger than I have ever felt it.

On top of this, I am recovering from pain pill addiction...so life just seems so boring and mundane. I don't want to go back there, because one pill will never be enough.

I've got to get myself together....but, I don't know where to start.

thanks for listening and feel free any of you to share your stories.

v