What do you do when the pain you used to feel is gone away? Do you celebrate or do you cry? Does feeling no pain mean that the love has gone away?

It is like someone had set fire to your heart and after the flames burnt out the remains are just there. While the fire burns it rages hot but when the flames die down they start to simmer out. Then you have the confusion that settles in like smoke as lonelyness falls down around you like cold hard rain.

I feel bad for not missing you when your not here. I stopped calling to see when your comming home because when I do you tell me I'm holding you up and that I'm preventing you from getting done.

Somedays i can't wait for you to come home to me other days I go about my day with the kids and don't really miss you. This makes me feel horrible because i feel like I know how things used to be and how I wish they would be.