Hi Skipb,
How do you feel now?
I read your answers.
I think the main solution is to visit a physician or a psychiatrist, because I see that all things and your condition is too far from normal.
As a doctor I can say that some mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders have 3-4 stages: light, medium, heavy, very heavy. You may be between moderate and severe anxiety depression, I think.
If on the light stages you can solve problems on their own or with friends, on the next stages you cannot do it without any additional medications.
Medications - is the main word here.
Just after you pass the course of treatment (3-4 months), and all the symptoms (anxiety, loneliness) will be reduced, and then the course of maintenance therapy, you will be able to use psychological support from friends, forums, etc.
Because it is a disease, and you should to start treatment as soon as possible.
I do not know why your parents (the mother) did not pay attention to your condition at the start and did not try to take you to the doctor.

Do not worry about what you say to doctor or what you ask him.
This is a typical situation for him and for his practice.
Good luck to you!
Try to visit the doctor on days and write about your visit.