Quote:
Originally Posted by Maven
One thing that's important before penetration is that you're aroused. You don't have to go "all the way" the first time. As others have said, just explore each other's bodies, with no pressure to go beyond that, and try to relax and enjoy the sensations. Learn what you like and what you don't. Let him know what you like and what you don't. Everyone's different; there isn't a right way and a wrong way to enjoy sex.
As for oral, that's your prerogative, and I certainly understand your fear. Does your fiance (I don't really agree with "soon-to-be-fiance" because if you know you and he want to get married, then you're already engaged) know how you feel about performing oral sex? Some guys expect it, but you shouldn't do anything you don't want to. I find the taste of semen makes me want to vomit, so maybe I'm one of those women you talked about. I have never actually vomited, so maybe not, but even the anticipation of semen in my mouth (or sometimes just the smell of it) causes me to react strongly.
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One sucky thing about the arousal thing is that I'm not nearly as easily aroused as I used to be. This is partially because of abstaining for so long (boundaries become habits) , and this is partly because I HAVE to be on birth control for PCOS (or else I am a total nutcase for two weeks out of the month--like panic attacks and everything--and have various physical symptoms I won't go into) which causes decreased sex drive, and because my antidepressant (imiprimine) probably isn't the best choice for increasing sex drive (and it hardly even works. Hmmph. I just haven't gotten up the courage to change or go off of it yet). So the prospect of me just FORGETTING my fear in the heat of the moment.... Isn't that great. Which really sucks and I don't know what to do about that. Other than try another antidepressant. Or maybe try to go off it and just see my T more.
Hehe, I don't say "fiance" because it's not official beyond our parents knowing yet. We're waiting for closer to the wedding (like within four months) for the "proposal" (hahaha) because we're very young, and we hope that it will make it seem to the rest of the family like we thought about it more. :P because you know, they don't really understand that we've been thinking about it for years now.
He actually doesn't even care. ^_^ Also I tend to have a pretty (okay really) weak stomach so it wouldn't be a good idea regardless.