It's so much easier to tell random, anonymous internet people

I get that too. The reason I write things down is because I forget details otherwise and sometimes I just need to capture everything. It does all take time though, if you start and revert back to "everything is fine" even when it's not, you will still get there eventually, and you'll get the hardest details out. My natural state is everything is just fine too, and that meant that with my therapist it was like I'd hit up against a wall and have no answers to the simplest of questions. When I was with other people, I'd always blocked off all that negative information, so it was really like there was nothing there. It can be so hard to get started, but I know now that it does get easier.