Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan1212
Actually it is a very common thing, a lot of people are afraid of sex for the first time, you're definitely not alone! 
My advice is don't rush, don't rush sex, don't rush marraige, don't rush life, wait until you're settled, wait til you're comfortable with your own life. Unless you guys really believe in doing so, then.. that's how it's going to be which is not a problem :P I know it's your religion/faith, but who are you really doing this for? You said you wanted to get married so soon before you get a carreer beofre you get a house, that you'd rather be poor, are you doing this for your parents? Worried about 'the accusation' / what other people think? Because I have the same issue, I wanted the status of "Married" so quick, but so little is changed, we're still together, we're still faithful, but that's just me. But I had the same fear, because my ex wanted it; we rarely got to see each other, it felt rushed.
http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-a-Fear-of-Sex |
Nobody seems to talk about it though. >_<
We're getting married because we're tired of waiting. Because of our religion we don't believe in cohabitation or sex before marriage, and we've been waiting so long that it's really beginning to suck. (and we really have a desire to just do married things as well--like cooking together, even just sleeping in the same bed without sex, for example) Also, we both want Ph. D's in our fields and if we were to wait until we had a career, that would be a LONG time away. And we've got plans that are financially stable--not terribly plush, but we'll survive and be happy enough. It's not really that we want the status of married--in fact getting married so young will likely cause a bit of an uproar from our family. And I *do* want sex. But I also don't. :P This is a terrible example, but its sort of like a Christian's dichotomous desire for the end of days to come. One wants it because they can leave this horrible place and go to live eternally in heaven, but at the same time one has a certain dread of dying and the unknowns around it. Because even though everyone can assure you that heaven will be awesome, you're comfortable here on earth and you don't want to find out what the dying part is like.