Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Venomous
Exactly! Nobody seems to understand our fear of sex. What virgins there are seem to want to have it, not fear it like we do, and I know that if the time ever comes for me, I will be hysterical. I am nauseous even thinking about it. It’s not a ‘it’s new and unknown’ fear for me, as I think it far exceeds that, it most likely has to do with having a history of sexual abuse and a (what I am told to be) distorted view of relationships and sex. I’ll cry if I talk about sexual subjects too much. I won’t watch movies with sex in them or graphic images. Just watch me totally freeze up and have a panic attack.
Oral sex for me would also be problematic because I fear contamination and germs, or it can cause me a significant amount of anxiety. I don’t like kisses let alone oral sex. Nobody's mouth will ever come near me.
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I'm not quite so drastic, but I can't watch movies with sex in them either and I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex, especially anything deeper than what we've gone into on this forum (well actually a couple posts have bothered me, even so). I was never abused as a child, except I did have a couple of very close perverse childhood friends with strange fixations on sex at such a young age (which I now suspect was caused by sexual abuse), and they have left me with some very strange and distorted emotions concerning sex, even to this day. I usually don't respond to graphic images or conversation with panic, but I usually get very nauseated, which then causes panic (because I've got a phobia of vomiting and all). The strange thing is that I'm actually a very touchy person in general--around even acquaintances I enjoy hugging and being hugged and kissing my fiance or my family does not bother me. In fact, we joke about my daily "hug quota". :P I am often accused of invading people's personal space! So i don't think for me it's a touching problem or problem with general physical intimacy, but you throw anything sex into the equation and I clam up.