Wow, I lost it today.

I saw T yesterday and something came up out of nowhere that was really difficult for me to process, and completely unexpected. I left in tears. I went to a 12 step meeting to see if that would help, but it didn't.

My dog has cancer again and we're in this "do we do chemo or not" place and because of the type of cancer he has we don't have any time to decide so I drove an hour to get the first treatment today while we try to figure out what to do.

I'm still reeling from...I don't know, this whole YEAR, I think.

And my insurance runs out in a few weeks and I'll be back down to once a week therapy, which I know is going to be so so so bad. That's just not where I'm at.

So. I completely lost it today and threw my new cell phone across the room and broke it that's not even ME. WTH? It costs $179 to have it repaired and we are so so so so so so far behind on Oldest Sons medical bills for this year that it's ridiculous, and Christmas is coming up. I. am. so. stupid.

I don't know what I need. I need T but I can't have that. So. Blah.