(((geez))),

What many people don't realize is that even "with a spark" these doubts present in "most" marriages. Part of this is because we all continue to "grow" as we age, and in that we get to "know who we are" more and more.

What happens is many tend to marry in their 20's and that is still very young and at that time in our lives our bodies are all geared up to "reproduce" as well. And many women will pick a man they "feel safe with" and consider him to be "dependable" so that the "main course" of her having children, a home, and a sense of trust will all be there.

Most of the marriage for a while consists of "work and raising the children" and it keeps each partner very busy. However, as the children get "closer" to leaving the nest and things start to slow down, both of the parents start to think about "themselves" and also realize how they are suddenly "older" too. But all that time they were working and raising their children, they were also "learning" as well, and they were learning how much they "could do" and "achieve". But still something is missing somehow, "self fulfillment".

Geez, when my daughter was graduating her friends parents were getting divorced. I overheard many of her friends talking about this and all feeling "betrayed" somehow.
The majority of the parents were in their 40's as well. So you are not alone in struggling with this. So it got to be not who was graduating, but who was getting divorced. And many of these parents were also in "marriage counceling" as well.

And you are "right" about being concerned about your children, I am not going to lie, they "do" take it hard and when they see this happen they wonder if this whole marriage part of life really works out. Remember we all like to think there are "happy endings" and we often want to think our parents will always be "our parents together".

I can't really tell you how to "decide" what "you" are going to do, or what is best for you. But I just wanted to let you know that you are "not alone" in being challenged with these feelings. There always "is" a possibility that you many never find another person that brings on "the spark" you feel you are missing as well. Some people do find it and some just dont and some make the break, get past this challenge and regret parting ways too, some are happy they made the break. Each person is different. It is important you make sure of your own feelings and don't just act impulsively. However it sounds like you are working this out with a T, which is the responsible way to go.

Open Eyes