(((OutofTune))),

Oh, I am sorry that you have to deal with that, I can relate to that problem as well.
I understand that "therapy" has to wait a bit, glad to hear you are still making plans to reach out to group therapy and outpatient. You need to keep yourself around others that understand PTSD, can validate you constantly and help you find ways to get a handle on dealing with the "PTSD episodes" that I am sure you struggle with as you are around people who caused all of this to happen to you.

In the meantime, you are welcome to come here and share and vent if you need support while trying to get by until you get into a therapy program. I recommend that you make sure you find someplace that is "safe" where you can go and have some down time and rest. It doesn't have to be a "big space" either, just something that you have that others respect as "your space".

Make sure you practice lots of "self care" and don't let these other people convince you that you are "the problem" or are somehow unworthy in any way. You can work through all of this and make gains on it. Make sure you take time to learn how to take time outs and self sooth instead of just assuming the "anxiety" and challenges are "uncontrolable" you actually "can" learn how to "calm them". Take some time and read through some of the threads here too, and read about some of the grounding methods you can learn to do as well.

Welcome to PC, lots of others here that are very nice and willing to listen and support you. Just remember that members are not always on, so if you do vent and dont get a reply right away, that only means that no one is on yet to see your thread/request for support. I know with PTSD not having a reply right away can feel like no one cares, that is not the case here, it just takes time sometimes for someone to see it ok?

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes