So now he tells me that in 2008 when he was looking for me, he was completely available and had serious things in mind. And he was looking for me to the point of doing stupid things that at that time annoyed the hell out of me - he posted a question on LinkedIn questions asking how to find such and such, by name. If I do a Google search for my name, this LinkedIn question still comes up in search, and I have always found it embarrassing.

The employer I worked for has a huge office in NYC and would have had absolutely no problem relocating me over there. Had I only known what was in store for me starting in just a few months -- a major suicide attempt, several psychiatric hospitalizations, loss of employment, ex' attempt to conserve me, disability, loss of custody, living in complete isolation -- well, sure I would have rather gone to live with Charles in NYC and kept an excellent job with a good growth potential. It would have been a no-brainer had I known my options. Where the hell was my crystal ball??!!

Instead, I told Charles that I was too busy with work etc etc and even that enraged ex as he found it too welcoming.

But that is OK - hopefully I will win some visitation rights which will justify my staying in the Bay Area. And I have definitely learned a lot of things the hard way living in complete isolation as I did, and I would have never learned these things had I been living in posh conditions in New York. So I think it was worth it. Well, if I stop thinking that it was worth it I will start feeling completely stupid and I do not want to there, I guess...