Quote:
Originally Posted by Valentinedemorcerf
him even kissing me, normally, like we've done many times, I see myself internally preparing to push him away, thinking oh my GOD, its going to happen. I see myself getting aroused and realizing oh my god, that means sex. And panicking. Because it's not that I don't want to do it, it's not that I'm not attracted to him, it's not that I'm worried about a particular thing involved, but something in me is crying NO.
|
maybe make an agreement with him to limit the wedding night to kissing, kissing, more kissing, and then a hand job - you will figure out how to work his penis, and he will help you. This way there would not be anything in you to cry NO, right? No risk of vomiting, bleeding, pain, or some such. No risk of losing control - you will retain full control. Problem solved. As you become comfortable with this (which is still undeniably SEX), you will move on to new horizons. You can also if it feels safe allow him to touch you manually, but only it feels good.