That is amazing, I have to give you props for going to your sessions. It took me FOREVER to see someone. You don't have to say anything yet. Therapists are used to this, and don't want you to feel pressured. You should be proud of yourself. I know the anxiety of going in to a stranger, trying to decide if I could trust them, opening up and actually being completely misunderstood by a professional, and forcing myself to *make* myself understood. This is your *right*. Your experiences belong to you, but they don't *make* you, and it is YOUR RIGHT to talk about them. It's going to take a lot of time to feel better. I don't usually at all when I leave, I just feel relieved that the session is over, but that's my issue with other people. The fact that you posted this as a confession, when it's not your fault at all - what happened to you is not your fault, how you feel is not your fault, what you are and aren't isn't your fault either. You are blameless, even for the things you think you've done wrong, no one can judge you. No one wants to judge you. I do hope that your therapist can help you, though. Good luck.