I was emotionally abused by my mum for quite a bit. My mother wasn't much of a normal one, she'd just sit on the couch, play flash games on her laptop, and smoke. Sometimes she'd have a beer with her, sometimes she wouldn't. I would sit next to her for hours watching her play flash games which probably sparked my interest for the Internet in the first place, which I'm grateful for now. I was a picky eater when I was little, and I still kind of am. I hated so many different kinds of foods and refused to try them. After a while, my mother got sick of making food work to my 'standards' and so she would just stuff the food in my mouth by force. Like literally open my mouth, shove the food inside, then cover my mouth and nose so I'd be forced to swallow. I've always been afraid of somehow setting her off, especially about food. I can't remember the last time I've asked, "What's for dinner?" for the fear she'd get angry at me.

Whenever I'm upset or thinking of my mum, I usually listen to music or write about what I'm thinking of. Sometimes I sleep or do homework to fill my time. I rarely go see other people about it- I hate it when I get emotional or talk about something personal around someone else. It doesn't matter who, I still don't trust anyone with something like that. The only time I've cried in front of someone in the past 5 years almost completely destroyed my self-esteem. I felt so ashamed and stupid for having done that, and I still do. So all in all, I just try to take my mind off it. It really does help to have friends around you when you're going through something. You don't have to tell them anything, but I can never keep thinking about anything that has happened to me around them. If you do want someone to talk to, but are too scared to bring it up, then you don't have to. Just knowing that they're right there are available to talk to helps me if I ever think I need it.