I am aware that I spend a lot of my time ruminating. One of the first means of improvement I experienced from Lamictal was that my mind just felt 'clearer,' like that there wasn't a bunch of thoughts incessantly playing in the background of my mind like a TV that doesn't shut off. It's continued to get better, but usually when I feel worse my mind is a little more 'loaded.' When I feel healthy, my mind is simple and clear. I wish it were there far more often.