Well, sometimes I do think therapy can create problems that otherwise wouldn't exist. Romantic transference can be one of them.

A lot of emphasis can, and potentially should, be put on resolving that transference, and the feelings that underlie it (the desire for connection, etc...). In that way how we relate to the world can be understood and brought within our control.

However, it is also very true that the best way to get animals to mate in captivity is to just put them together (except for pandas). I think therapy is like that sometimes too. Put two people in the room, start talking about intimate things, and -independent of any deep seated underlying issues - wham! love is in the air.

In that sense, the therapy itself can be crazy making.

Perhaps it comes to this - if your feelings for your therapist are interfering with developing relationships outside of therapy, then it may be time to go. Your therapist should not be the ultimate frustrating surrogate, but a catalyst to your own happiness. Those feelings should be translated. "I know I can love again because I loved XXXX" type thing.

As far as grieving, oh you likely will. I know I did my past therapist, and he and I were long long past any of those transference issues. I just miss his presence.

It's tough. Good luck.