Hello.

So, I don't really have friends. I've started college in October and after a few weeks during which I basically sat by myself and didn't bother with trying to get to know people, I've decided to make an effort. I think I've made 2 or 3 acquaintances and I'd like to turn them into friends, but I just can't seem to be able to do that.

The thing is that, these people that I've been talking to are all normal (unlike me) and all have friends AND have made friends since college started and I find it.... extremely hard, verging on impossible to go and talk with them when they're in a group acting all friendly and laughing and whatnot. I'm not needed there and I don't really have anything to offer - I mean I'm not funny or anything and what could possibly top a conversation that makes you laugh?

It just eats me up whenever I see them laughing and acting friendly (friendlier?) with other people and I just... almost shut down and am incapable doing anything.

In particular, on Monday, these two guys (that I've talked to before) decided to skip a class and head out for coffee and on the hallway they just took this girl and said 'you should come with us', while I was standing there. I still can't believe how much that hurt me; I went home and cried for half an hour, then inflicted minor self injury for the first time ever. Yeah, it's pathetic and whatnot, but still..

I just... and this girl they asked to go with them, I've been to high-school with her and I just get the impression she's the kind of girl who thinks 'pain is cool' and I just think she's not trying as hard as me. No, scratch that, I KNOW she's not trying as hard, because I highly doubt that she went and read all the articles on the first page of Google results on 'how to start a conversation' and 'how to make friends'. Yet, she already has their instant messaging usernames, phone numbers and they talk about little stuff and laugh.... and I just feel like dying every time I see it happen. I know I'm a horrible person because of it, but that's how I feel.

So, the questions of this thread: How can I make it clear I want to be friends with those guys (I should probably mention I'm scared to death of initiating activities outside of college)? How do I seem more approachable? I know I'm supposed to smile and act positive and I try, but like I said, when they're already having a good time with other people... I just feel useless. Obviously, I'm also not doing great of speaking in groups. How not to get distracted by them being friends with other classmates, while only being acquaintances with me? I do try to get to know them, ask them questions about themselves and try to have good conversations, but again; if there are other people around, I'll probably just shut up like the idiot I am. Do they think I only talk to them when we're alone and not when we're in a group because I don't care for them?

I know it's a long post, and drowned in self-pity... but I really want to be friends with these guys and it obsessed me to no end. I have a seminary in an hour.