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Nov 29, 2012, 11:22 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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Oops.....I went all off on the boy's stepmom, and never addressed your question. 
Continue to be a positive influence in your grandson's life and let him know how much you love and care about him. Encourage him to obey "house rules" in order to avoid punishment. It would be tempting in this case, but I would advise against badmouthing the stepmom with him even when she appears completely unreasonable. It will only confuse him further and make life more difficult for him at home. Instead, you can tell him it's an early opportunity for him to learn how to deal with unreasonable people who have the upper hand in life - of which there are many.
Is there any way to discuss these concerns with the stepmom in a "adult" way without either one of you becoming angry or defensive? It would be nice if you all could be on the same page when it comes to raising the boy, but she's going to have to step up to the plate and show as much love and concern for the boy as you do. 
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