Im sry you feel that way. Although, I think maybe the depression came first and that is what caused the ED? A lot of times, EDs come from the need for control becuse you feel you lack it. You mentioned feeling like you dont hav control over your emotions. Thats what makes me feel like you may hav had the depression first. But the good news is, both are treatable....

Do you hav a t? if so, tell them that you dont want to take medication, and they can possibly help you with a treatment plan that uses natural remedies and/or behavior techniques.

One word of personal experience tho: i am really anti med... and i was diagnosed with depression. I dont think I would hav been able to get out of that hole without the medication. It really does work. Now I am off it, but maybe you could use it just to get a little kick start?