Quote:
Originally Posted by CreamCheese
I hope this is ok to post here?
my therapist is being awful and still telling me I'm choosing not to get better and to feel like this. I don't know what to do because she's not helping me get better just telling me I'm not trying hard enough. We haven't done anything like CBT except for 2 exercises (in 4/5 months?). I don't know how to fix myself like this? because I have tried so hard and nothing I try helps.
I saw my school GP the other day and wrote her a letter about how I'm feeling and she made me have hourly checks for the rest of the day.
I saw the psych a few days after that and gave her the letter aswell and was told I was telling them for attention. I don't know how to fix this. I thought you were supposed to see your GP/psych for things like this but I get told its for attention? I'm feeing incredibly desperate and not that sure that I can stop myself if I decide to do something. I understand that technically it is a choice if I decide to do anything but the feelings that cause me to think like this aren't my choice and they're what are too hard and painful to deal with.
What would you do if you felt like you were screaming for help and to make this stop and no one was helping you?
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around here in NY which is in the USA its one thing to complain about a treatment provider to another treatment provider expecting them to take your side and them fix the situation for you (in psych terms this is called triangulating, attention seeking behavior)
its another situation to approach another treatment provider and say this is whats happening, do you have any ideas that ****I*** can do?
if you are doing the first way of going to your other treatment providers expecting them to fix the problem for you by them going up against the treatment provider that you are having a problem with then yea I can see why they are saying you are doing this for attention. some times this kind of behavior can be seen as childish behavior equivelent to two children fighting and expecting their parents to step in and fix the problem when the children have the communication skills and are old enough to work out their own problems with those they are having a problem with. they may be seeing the problem between you and the therapist to be in your hands and they think you are capable of talking with your therapist and working this out with your therapist without the intervention of a third/forth party.
I can also see your therapists side of thinking you are not trying hard enough and what not. not because thats what you are doing or not, but because therapists naturally have to consider that side of things if they have been working with the client and things like they are not getting better, or they are refusing to try the things the therapist is asking them to do. its just one of those things therapists are taught to consider under certain situations.
my suggestion.. change your approach to this situation. instead of seeking out your other treatment providers sit down with your therapist and say something like ok lets talk, you say Im not trying hard enough and I say I am. tell me what you mean. what kinds of things are telling you Im not trying hard enough. then really listen, don't go off on the first thing she says that you dont like or dont want to hear. this is to get the information you need that will tell you what you need to do to get better. this is how people find out how to "do" therapy and whats expected of them from their therapist.
After you have heard everything she is seeing that led her to believe you dont want to get better, then you can respond to those things she told you, and ask questions about how you can change, get better, move forwards in your healing.
therapy isnt always about doing CBT, DBT and other therapy approaches. its about someone having a problem, talking to the therapist about that problem and then together the therapist and the one in therapy talk about how to fix that problem and the last step of therapy is the person in therapy (not the therapist) making changes and doing the things the therapist and person in therapy talked about.
think of it kind of like school ..you go to school, talk with the teachers, learn new things and you change how you think and do things, then you not the teacher goes home and you do the homework of things you did in school.
thats what therapy is for,..you pick a problem, you talk with your therapist about it, you and your therapist talk about ways to fix, change, the problem and way you think about that problem, then you go home and fix your problem by using everything you and your therapist talked about.