I agree with Leed in that if she's not willing to go, how can you resolve this? She has a lot of resentment and I too wonder where that comes from.

You could show that you're willing to go and there may be a remote chance if she sees change in you that she might become willing to go but in my experience that's not always true.

My ex and I fought for years and it came to a point where she did "pull the trigger" for many reasons, and that includes that we just didn't care for each other at the same level as we had at one point long ago. We're apart now waiting on the day we can actually get the divorce. I tell you all this for one reason. Life is not over and all is not doom and gloom if it ends. If it does come to that, there is hope! I too am 45 yrs old and now a single dad with two boys, it was rough for a long time but it's been a good thing. She and I are on good terms and I cant' say we're good friends or anything but we get along now. all the pain and frustration I endured for years (and she did too) is gone now that we're apart and I'm able to get on my feet, independent for the first time and much happier!

I hope that you can work it out, try counseling for yourself first and see if that helps to get her to work with you otherwise, just don't lose hope.