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"I'm aware people in my town worry about crime. It's a valid worry, considering where I live. However, I become angry at those who automatically assume a person of color is also a criminal - especially when their fear, distrust and hatred are obvious" Quote Kathy
It is sad, but perhaps your son should also be angry at those of color that "do" commit crimes, because unfortunately they "are" out there. And the other thing he should consider it that this woman may have some kind of history of abuse as well. Or, as you say this is an area where there is a lot of crime, so perhaps this woman has already been attacked or robbed and this is her behavior now. I wonder if black women also look around nervous as well and your son might not notice them and only thinks about racism or profiling.
If your son notices this and he looks back, follows this woman with his eyes and has any angry expression on his face, did he ever think he is sending her a message that she "should" be frightened?
If he had a chance to say anything to her, does it have to be something that is "mean spirited"?
I have had situations where I have been raped and attacked ok? And one of the things I had to really get courage up to do is to go into troubled areas and work. I made a decision to "not profile" and give it a chance. When I worked for these families, it wasn't always easy to find a place to park and I was by myself and nervous. However, I was very kindly greeted and they made it a point to be nice, make me feel safe and it was a "pleasant experience" for me, helped me overcome some fears too. I happen to be the "only one" that will go into these areas that are known to also be higher crime areas too.
I even went into the projects as well, and it was like going into a city all of it's own, and yes there were mostly "black families" there. I had told the woman beforehand that hired me that I could only stay for the aloted time because I had another event. I told her my big concern was that if other families noticed me they might crowd around and I didn't want to have children upset finding out that I was only there for "her" children.
The woman assured me that this would not happen, however it did happen and instead of there only being 9 children there were maybe 60 or more. And the woman kept adding more children to the line, it was clear she was "intimidated" more than me. I steped up to the line and firmly asked the woman to put "her" children in the line and that I was sorry but I only had time for "her party and her children". Well, instead of these people getting angry and pushing me around, they "respected that" and I managed to get that job done and be ok. And I actually thought it was a nice place and would not mind going back there. However if I was given dirty looks and disrespected because I really was the only white person there, it would have only sent me the message "be afraid they don't like you because you are white and they may think you are not giving the other children rides because you are mean white lady".
Also I do know the difference because I have had people use that race anger at me and even though I did have that happen, I still gave it another try. I really don't want to be a "racial profiler" I don't like it. And it doesn't have to be that way. It took a lot of courage for me to give it another try, it was the "understanding and kindness" that keeps me comfortable about "going back".
Open Eyes
I guess, my overall point is, that it works better if instead of being angry that there "can be" racial profiling or fear, rising above that does better at turning that fear into actually feeling comfortable and even "enjoying" others that are a different race, whether black or white or whatever. It truely is so unfortunate that it happens and I can understand the "anger". However, I do know first hand that the people I encounter are aware and yet somehow they figured out how to push that away and just be understanding and nice.
It worked for me and I am glad I have had that opportunity.
Last edited by Open Eyes; Nov 29, 2012 at 09:38 PM.
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